The Courage to Blog
I must apologise that it has been some time since I last posted. I've disappointed myself a little as I did intend to post everyday. Let's be positive though... from today on I will post every day!
I've spent some time over the last couple of days browsing through other faith/religious blogs and am inspired by the kind of writing I see going on there. They make my own journey here seem quite insignificant and maybe Anne-Marie was right when shecommented to me that I am burdening an alreay burdened world, when I should be shepherding souls in plight and struggle.
I will admit that there is a temptation to slip into a ministering/preaching type role on this blog but I remind
myself that I established it for different reasons, more personal reasons. I have a need to convey something very real about myself
and my own journey to date. I haven't gotten into that as much as I would like to yet. Perhaps I'm shying away from speaking the full truth about myself and will have to muster up some courage. Or maybe there's just not as much to tell as I imagined!!
Revealing my soul doesn't come easily to me. That I choose to do it in the anonymous world of cyberspace reveals a cowardice in me, and yet I'm not feeling ashamed. I feel liberated. I feel I am beginning to make the first true expressions of myself that I have ever made. I feel I am beginning to know who I am and as this knowledge grows so will my freedom of expression. There is not doubt that this blog will be good for my soul!
Right now I'm in the middle of preparing a large and important annual mass and the concerns of the early days of this blog seem a million miles away. Maybe that's the key to leading a wholesome celibate life ... keep the mind too busy to listen to the heart ...! If only it was that simple!
I've spent some time over the last couple of days browsing through other faith/religious blogs and am inspired by the kind of writing I see going on there. They make my own journey here seem quite insignificant and maybe Anne-Marie was right when shecommented to me that I am burdening an alreay burdened world, when I should be shepherding souls in plight and struggle.
I will admit that there is a temptation to slip into a ministering/preaching type role on this blog but I remind
myself that I established it for different reasons, more personal reasons. I have a need to convey something very real about myself
and my own journey to date. I haven't gotten into that as much as I would like to yet. Perhaps I'm shying away from speaking the full truth about myself and will have to muster up some courage. Or maybe there's just not as much to tell as I imagined!!
Revealing my soul doesn't come easily to me. That I choose to do it in the anonymous world of cyberspace reveals a cowardice in me, and yet I'm not feeling ashamed. I feel liberated. I feel I am beginning to make the first true expressions of myself that I have ever made. I feel I am beginning to know who I am and as this knowledge grows so will my freedom of expression. There is not doubt that this blog will be good for my soul!
Right now I'm in the middle of preparing a large and important annual mass and the concerns of the early days of this blog seem a million miles away. Maybe that's the key to leading a wholesome celibate life ... keep the mind too busy to listen to the heart ...! If only it was that simple!



24 Comments:
Father, while I am not a fan of organized religion, but in basic universal concepts of basic acceptance, love, good and bad and consideration for others, I highly admire your personal conviction to maintain your strong willpower and faith that has kept you on this path for so many years.
As far as the anonimity of the blog goes, whatever works for you is all that matters. Just as I think that people and religions shouldn't judge others, I would hope that you might find the strength to hold your head up high and let your true feelings, emotions, experiences and life lessons pour from your heart without guilt or shame, because who cares what anybody else thinks? They have never walked in your shoes. Ultimately, if you are not harming anyone, not much else matters except your happiness and trying to share happiness with others. I know I may sound like I'm preaching some kind of guru like rhetoric, but I do not subscribe to one particular belief, yet try and respect and understand the beliefs and convictions of all cultures and religions (as long as they harm no one).
I wish you many blessings and happiness for the remainder of your life, as at any stage (even at my ripe age of 34), finding those blessings is a difficult challenge. Best of luck to you.
Regards,
A gay man in Texas, USA
Father Paul, I hope that you will resume your blog. You've done well in describing your motives for writing. Whether or not you will affect your readers' spirituality is iffy, and a daunting task at best. Think of a more immediate, practical benefit: blog as safety valve. Share the beauty of your faith here, and it may put the wind at your back when you're not here.
Warm regards,
-Greg
Father Paul,
I've just discovered your blog this evening and was enthralled by the very human face you put on the priesthood.
And I was saddened to that you haven't posted in a month.
I do hope you'll be posting on a semi-regular basis.
Father,
I have to add to the other comments made on your web-site.
I greatly admire your candour on this web-site. For far too long priests have lived on their lonely, isolated pillars, not out of their own choice, more often then not.
I have been privy to priests opening up, and it is a marvelous thing to see. In fact, last Oct. a local priest looked at me with shock during our conversation and said "Nobody has ever talked to me like that", mainly as I was talking to him man to man, and not as a priest.
As a practicing catholic and victim of clerical sexual who yearns for the divisions between church and people to stop, I feel that your site is a most important step in showing the true, human, christian face of the priesthood and look forward to seeing more postings from you.
God, I started sounding very sanctimonious back there, didn't I?
Take care...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Keep on bloggin'!
Dear Father Paul, Our Lady loves each one of us but values her priests especially! She has said "If you knew how much I love you, you would weep with joy!" Medjugorje has everything you are looking for and more besides. Perhaps you would visit it and find out for yourself. You will be pleasantly surprised at the welcome you receive there. Many groups going there are in need of chaplains to accompany them so you will not need any money at all. Our Lady gives a message for the parish and the world each 25th of the month. The following is the last message.
Message of February 25, 2005
"Dear children! Today I call you to be my extended hands in this
world that puts God in the last place. You, little children, put God
in the first place in your life. God will bless you and give you
strength to bear witness to Him, the God of love and peace. I am
with you and intercede for all of you. Little children, do not
forget that I love you with a tender love. Thank you for having
responded to my call."
2005-03-04
Perhaps, you have some underlying doubts. Is there another side? An afterlife? What does all of this religion mean anything? Is this all just another mythology written by mortal men?
Life is brief and fragile. The joys we can experience in the 'here and now' might be the only chance we get to have them. There is no experience more wonderful on this Earth than to share love with a woman. Evolution has been working for tens of millions of years to perfect this experience. It is physical, emotional, sexual, and loving and wonderful. She is the one I worship. I treasure every moment in this life that I can share with my wife.
Father, don't let this life pass you by without experiencing the most wonderful part of being a human being. Don't let these artificial boundaries determine the path of your life. There is no other side. We are all stardust and we will be again. Someone is waiting now to love and be loved by you!
father,
i would be interested in know why you have not posted in almost a year? i find the insight into your life so refreshing.
i hope you have not become ill or worse as i suspect.
i would like for you to post back if possible.
yours,
blogger16
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Father Paul,
Please return to blogging. I found your weblog and was distressed to find that your last post was over a year ago. I was really looking forward to getting to know you!
Hi Father Paul,
As a catholic myself, I have always been intrigued by the challenge of celibacy facing priests..I am so touched by your heart felt entries about the magnitude of such issues that plague you on a daily basis. Please write more often. I would like to be privy to this journey of yours. Thank you :)
Prayer to the Holy Spirit
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You who gave me the divine gift to forgive and forget all evil against me,and in all instances of life you are with me
I want in this short prayer to confirm once again that i never want to be seperated from you-even in spite of all material illusions I want to be with you in eternal glory---say for 3 days.
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Statements of faith without context and definition have little potent value in practical details of life.
This isn't to say Faith is impractical. Sophistry is not useful as a manner of speaking... about faith. Sophistry as a means of responding to statements of faith is ... a fraud.
Did someone just say... "Guru rhetoric"? How quaintly Jane Fonda! I can almost smell poppies and hear the jangle of love beads and Blowing in The Wind. lovely!
Someone said this blog is Pope Ratty larking about in street clothes. Say it ISN'T SO!
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